Please stop telling Moms to enjoy every minute

Nothing makes me feel quite as overwhelmed as the words “enjoy every minute”.

Like do you mean right now while my kid is spread eagle on the Target floor demanding a slushy? Do you mean when I make dinner and half of the family is crying because it looks weird? Do you mean when I clean the toilets and I wonder how the pee reached the corner under the trash can?

I can do it; it’s worth it. But enjoying every minute is a different type of pressure.

In truth, there are a whole lot of minutes I feel annoyed or tired.

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What Mommy REALLY Wants for Christmas

Dear Husband, Family Members, Santa, Friends,

In case you wondering what it is my heart desires…

1. A toddler play yard except I need it to be much bigger and taller. I don’t plan on keeping my kids in it, I plan on keeping my kids out. I will call it “Mommy’s personal space” or “Please don’t touch me right now”. I’m going to bring it to the playground because when I take my kids to the playground (imagine this) I want them to PLAY. I provide gas, and transportation, they must provide play. I want to sit on a bench and observe them at play. I want to feel the sun and drink my coffee while they are at play. What I do not want to do is talk about boredom or snacks.

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Things I’m Not Going to do this Christmas

I am the santa, the elves, and the magic.

I am the delicious smells, the stuffed bellies, and the Christmas spirit.

I am the twinkle lights, the clean bathrooms, and the mistletoe hanging in the doorway.

I am the stories, the advent calendars, and the reminding what Christmas is really about.

I am the greeting cards, I am the coordinator of grandparents and cousins, I am the christmas pajamas for the night before.

I am the traditions, I am the baker for school sales, I am the buyer of last minute presents that were forgotten.

And now I’m tired.

I am mom.

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Family Gift Guide from the Couch 2017

I love to shop. I love to go into beautiful stores and touch beautiful things. I have kids now though and it turns out they also like to touch things…all of the things. Each shopping trip starts full of hope that this time will somehow be “different”, but it always ends the same…with someone crying under a clothing rack next to a bag of spilled popcorn. Also they hardly ever offer me wine at the store. So, though I love shopping local, I also like shopping braless, pant-less, ALONE, and  with a glass of red wine.

I recently partnered with Amazon and I get a small percentage of purchases when someone clicks through my site. I love amazon (not just saying that) and PRIME is the shiznit, especially when you’re a procrastinator like me. So here friends, is my first ever Christmas gift guide.

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Dear Mama, You are not a failure…

Dear Mama,

You are not a failure.

I know you don’t always believe that, but it’s true.

We all fail, all of us, but we are not failures.

There have been so many moments when I felt done, when I wanted to run outside and scream. So many moments when I knew I said the wrong thing the second the words came out of my mouth.

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