Diary of a half-mile walk with my kid.

0:00 Decided to go on a half mile walk with my 4yo. It’s not far, it seems like a good idea.

0:10 This was a terrible idea.

0:15 Stopped because there is a was a piece a of dead christmas tree on the sidewalk. Said, “Oh cool”, but kid wasn’t convinced, had to feign interest for a solid 10 minutes before we could move on.

0:35 Taking dead christmas tree with us.

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0:45 Kid wants water, doesn’t like our water.

1:00 There are cracks in the sidewalk, kid doesn’t understand why there are cracks.

1:15 Kid wants to watch Oomie Zoomie. Say no, this is about being outside.

1:30 Give in, this is actually about survival.

1:35 Phone dies. We are screwed.

2:00 Dead Christmas tree branch breaks, 4yo’s day has never been so bad.

2:15 Kid wants to know what “h-i-j-k-l” spells. She doesn’t want to hear my answer.

2:30 Brought the stroller, kid not using stroller.

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2:45 Her hand is so squishy and cute.

3:00 There is a bug on the sidewalk it’s name is Lily.

3:15 We are walking so slow I can no longer tell if we are moving.

3:30 Everyone has to pee.

3:49 Kid found a branch with leaves on it. She cannot walk further until she picks off all the leaves. (Reason unknown.)

4:00 We are only 800ft from the house but our supplies will not last. Ran out of goldfish and water hours ago.

4:30 We are going to die here.

***

PSA:

If you enjoy half-mile walks that take upwards of four hours…

well then,

parenthood is for you.

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10 thoughts on “Diary of a half-mile walk with my kid.

  1. Jodie

    This. Was. Awesome. Perfectly depicted any event we attempt as parents where we start of thinking “This is a great idea! This will be fun!” And it ends in “What the $@&& were we thinking! Never. Again.” Lol. Thank you for the laugh. 🙂

  2. chanceux life

    I am only 19 years old and I love to read your blogs. It makes me want to have kids of my own one day. Thanks for showing me that good moms do in fact exist 💘

  3. stomperdad

    Oh dear. Been there done that. Well, not 4 hours worth, but it sure felt like it! Feigning interest is a difficult balance. Show too much interest and they won’t stop talking about it. Not enough interest and they start throwing tantrums around. Glad to know mine isn’t the only one who names bugs.

  4. Marie

    As a mom, this was a challenge. Now that I’m a GRAND-mom, it still drives me crazy. Everyone thinks grandparents have loads of patients. Don’t believe it. A zebra can’t change his spots. Or whatever. Anyway, there will be wine and chocolate in heaven for us, I know it for sure. Keep on writing, it’s a great pain reliever!

  5. Pingback: Sunday Share: Year 2, Week 3 | All In A Dad's Work

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