I want to be a come-as-you-are friend.

I want to be a come-as-you-are-friend.

I want my friends to come as they are when we’re together. Rough day? Haven’t showered in a week? Going through something hard? Not feeling yourself? Perfect. Come as you are.

I want my friends to know they don’t ever have to censor themselves around me. You don’t ever have to say, “I hope this doesn’t sound bad, but…” Sound bad. It’s okay to sound bad around me. Come as you are.

I want my friends to know that I’m a safe place for them to erupt like a volcano, laugh like a lunatic, and cry their ugliest without ever feeling judged. I love you in all the ways and I don’t ever want you to quiet yourself around me. Come as you are.

I want my friends to know I’m here for all their controversial opinions. It doesn’t matter if I agree or I don’t, I’m here for your thoughts. Can’t post it on Facebook without a cat fight breaking out with an entire side of your family and also some strangers? PERFECT, I’m here for your unedited thoughts. Come as you are.

I want my friends to know I’m there for the middle place. Don’t have it figured out? Still in the woods? Stuck in a struggle and you’re not sure you’re way out yet? I’ll plop myself down in that uncomfortable place with you and pour you a glass of wine. Your mess doesn’t scare me. Come as you are.

I want my friends to know I’m there for their celebrations. Don’t tone down your successes around me. I want to shriek and clap in the front row of all your accomplishments. I want to get a text with the video of your son taking his first steps and I want a screenshot of the email that says you got the job. Come as you are.

I want my friends to know they can be “too much” around me. Be loud, be funny, be obnoxious, be crazy. I love you for all your too muchness. Don’t turn down the volume or edit the you out of yourself when you’re with me. Come as you are.

I want my friends to know they can be “not enough” around me. Be tired, be empty, be quiet. When you run out of gas and when you need a good long nap I’m still here. Come as you are.

I want my friends to feel completely free to be THEMSELVES around me. Be you. In all your tiredness, in all your loudness, in all your opinions (uncensored), in all your big feelings. Come as you are. Be you in your stained T-shirt and your dry shampooed hair or be you in your cute Instagram worthy outfit and recently whitened teeth. Be you. I want you to be you because that’s what friendship is all about: you being you and me being me and loving each other through it all.

Come as you are.

Love,

Jess

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3 responses to “I want to be a come-as-you-are friend.”

peapodblue

March 19, 2020 at 9:16 pm

This is perfect for a friend of mine right now. She is going through so much. Thank you for allowing g us to share thoughts from your heart. You reach right to the bottom of mine everytime. God Speed
stomperdad

March 25, 2020 at 12:14 pm

Come as you are friends are the best kinds of friends. They’re also few and far between. Hopefully all our friends know they can be their full uncensored selves around us.
John

March 29, 2020 at 8:23 pm

With so many people trying to show themselves to be perfect, they are forgetting to just be themselves. We also forget to be that inviting person to be open and available, so people can be a hot mess, or in order. Everyone is welcome, come as you are.

WONDEROAK