Author: wonderoak
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When you’re done having kids (and you’re sad)
When we were deciding if we were going to be done having kids, my aunt told me something profound. She said, “No matter when you stop, whether it’s four or ten, you’re always going to grieve the end of a season.” Her words helped me make peace with my youngest being our grand finale. For…
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Being There is a Gift.
I think sometimes we make the mistake of thinking it’s hard for our friends to “be there”. We apologize for our messes, our tears, our rants, our dirty floors, our needs, and our humanity. We invite them in with a mile long disclaimer that basically says “so sorry you have to be here”. The truth…
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It shouldn’t be expensive to be a good friend.
I’m sorry, but it shouldn’t be expensive to be a good friend. It’s not about living in the right house, or fancy decorations or going out and buying brand new patio furniture. It’s not about catering five-course meals or throwing elaborate parties or picking up the tab for the entire table at the hottest restaurant.…
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You Have to Protect Your Peace (even when people don’t understand)
I’m going to let you in on a little secret: You have to protect your peace. You have to draw lines and have boundaries. You can’t give your energy to everything and everyone or it will drain you completely to the point where you don’t have anything left to give. At some point, you are…
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Dear Friend, When I get it wrong…
Have you ever been a bad friend? Have you ever stuck your foot so far down your mouth you thought it might be time to move to a new country? Have you ever dropped the ball and forgotten to text or call back when it was actually pretty important? Have you ever gotten triggered by…
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Friendship Isn’t a Freebie
Friendship isn’t a freebie. It’s not a giveaway or a winning lottery ticket. Friendship is something you work at and sacrifice for. It’s something that you commit to and invest in. Friendship looks like listening (like really listening). Friendship looks like giving the benefit of the doubt even when you’re spitting mad. Friendship looks like…
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Dear Friends(Who I’ve grown apart from)…
Dear Friends (who I’ve grown apart from), I hope you know how much I love you. I hope you know how grateful I am for the season that you were my person. I know we’re not in each other’s day to day lives anymore, and that’s sometimes sad, but it’s also okay. Our paths took…
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It’s better to have one true friend than a thousand “kinda” friends.
It’s better to have one true friend than a thousand “kinda” friends. It’s better to have one true friend cheering for you with her whole heart, than a thousand who talk about you when you’re not in the room. It’s better to have one true friend who wants to really do life with you –…
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Choose Friends Who Choose You Back.
Choose friends who are choosing you right back. Choose friends who are willing to get real in conversation. Choose friends who are making room for you at their table and willing to invest. Choose friends who lift you higher, let you relax—who make you laugh harder, breathe a little lighter, and come alive a little…
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Find yourself a friend who tells you you have salad in your teeth.
Find yourself a friend who’s couch is better than yours on a rough day. Find yourself a friend who will never judge you for your dirty floor or your venting sash. Find yourself a friend who is in it for the long haul (even when things get mess and hard and weird). Find yourself a…