WONDEROAK

(Love Amy) When I was young, my parents had this group of families they did nearly everything with. The parents would play games, or talk, or watch a movie in one room and the kids would hang out in the other room.  I’m sure we ate, but honestly, I have a hard time remembering that […]

Something I’m learning right now (and it’s not always easy) is that if someone is upset with me, it’s not always my job to fix it. If I’ve hurt someone and they approach me about it, I will always do my best to make it right. But if I hear whisperings that someone is bothered, […]

If you see me and a friend out in public having a good time, please know this friendship didn’t happen by accident.  I know it looks simple. I know it looks comfortable. I know it looks easy.  And it is all those things, but only because we’ve done the work. Only because we’ve fought for […]

You recognize when someone loves you for you, when you’ve been loved conditionally and with strings attached. You know what it is to be able to relax and exhale, when you’ve had to perform in order to “belong”. You cherish mutual friendship, when you’ve been in relationships where you were the only giver and they […]

This ones for the givers. The ones who show up and again and again, (even when it’s hard, and even when it’s inconvenient.The ones who love and serve in ways that often goes unseen and unappreciated. The ones who’ve loved hard and with their whole hearts – and sometimes that’s meant being burned. The ones […]

Don’t forget friendships need maintenance. You’re not just getting a coffee, you’re connecting hearts. You’re not just texting, you’re being a part of each other’s lives. You’re not just spending money on that trip, you’re investing in your connection. You’re not just showing up for a party, you’re letting them know they matter. You’re not […]

The highest honor of friendship isn’t getting invited to “that party” or out on a girls weekend. It’s not clinking champagne glasses at fancy brunches or wearing matching shirts on a beach in Florida. That all is nice and fun and good and special, but it’s not what it’s about, not at all. The real […]

When we were deciding if we were going to be done having kids, my aunt told me something profound. She said, “No matter when you stop, whether it’s four or ten, you’re always going to grieve the end of a season.” Her words helped me make peace with my youngest being our grand finale. For […]

I think sometimes we make the mistake of thinking it’s hard for our friends to “be there”. We apologize for our messes, our tears, our rants, our dirty floors, our needs, and our humanity. We invite them in with a mile long disclaimer that basically says “so sorry you have to be here”. The truth […]

I’m sorry, but it shouldn’t be expensive to be a good friend. It’s not about living in the right house, or fancy decorations or going out and buying brand new patio furniture. It’s not about catering five-course meals or throwing elaborate parties or picking up the tab for the entire table at the hottest restaurant. […]

I’m going to let you in on a little secret: You have to protect your peace. You have to draw lines and have boundaries. You can’t give your energy to everything and everyone or it will drain you completely to the point where you don’t have anything left to give. At some point, you are […]

Have you ever been a bad friend? Have you ever stuck your foot so far down your mouth you thought it might be time to move to a new country? Have you ever dropped the ball and forgotten to text or call back when it was actually pretty important? Have you ever gotten triggered by […]

Friendship isn’t a freebie. It’s not a giveaway or a winning lottery ticket. Friendship is something you work at and sacrifice for. It’s something that you commit to and invest in. Friendship looks like listening (like really listening). Friendship looks like giving the benefit of the doubt even when you’re spitting mad. Friendship looks like […]

Dear Friends (who I’ve grown apart from), I hope you know how much I love you. I hope you know how grateful I am for the season that you were my person. I know we’re not in each other’s day to day lives anymore, and that’s sometimes sad, but it’s also okay. Our paths took […]

It’s better to have one true friend than a thousand “kinda” friends. It’s better to have one true friend cheering for you with her whole heart, than a thousand who talk about you when you’re not in the room. It’s better to have one true friend who wants to really do life with you – […]

Choose friends who are choosing you right back. Choose friends who are willing to get real in conversation. Choose friends who are making room for you at their table and willing to invest. Choose friends who lift you higher, let you relax—who make you laugh harder, breathe a little lighter, and come alive a little […]

Find yourself a friend who’s couch is better than yours on a rough day. Find yourself a friend who will never judge you for your dirty floor or your venting sash. Find yourself a friend who is in it for the long haul (even when things get mess and hard and weird). Find yourself a […]

Good friendship won’t feel like a bunch of pressure to be skinny enough, or smart enough, or rich enough. It won’t feel like a bunch of pressure to be pretty enough, or funny enough, or to have a big enough house. It won’t matter what kind of job you have, or what brand your leggings […]

I think it was Brene Brown who told a story about a village where all the women washed clothes together down by the river. When they all got washing machines, there was a sudden outbreak of depression and no one could figure out why.  It wasn’t the washing machines in and of themselves . It […]

(When you break-up, move on, or grow apart.) *** Sometimes you open up your heart big and wide in a friendship and you get hurt. Maybe your paths turned two different ways. You didn’t see it coming, and it’s painful to know your futures aren’t intertwined like they used to be. You kinda always pictured […]

Twelve years ago I miscarried for the first time. I was completely heartbroken and I quickly spiraled into a dark night of the soul. When I looked in the mirror I couldn’t even recognize the person looking back. I’d had loss before, but this time felt different. I’m naturally hopeful, but my grief and depression […]

10 Qualities of a Really Good Friend: 1. They can be real. Fake is exhausting, and overrated. We’re all kind of a mess. Friendship is a whole lot better when you can be in the mess together. Authenticity breeds a beautiful level of depth and understanding to the relationship. 2. They are a safe place […]

So, I have anxiety. I’ve always had it I think. There have been seasons that it’s come in waves so strong and fast it knocked me off my feet. There has also been seasons of unexplainable calm and peace. Sometimes anxiety feels like all my senses are turned up too high. Every noise is too loud. […]

As a black woman influencer in America, my inbox has been flooded with questions about racism in the last weeks. My heart is heavy from current events, but the people waking up, asking questions, and fighting for change gives my family and I hope. I’ve made a list of the most commonly asked questions and […]

Friendship that is like family doesn’t happen overnight. Jennifer Garner posted a quote the other day that said, “The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.” Friendship is just like that. It happens over days and weeks and years of constantly investing in someone and making time for them. […]

To my friend’s kids: I hope you know how much I love you. You’re not mine, but I love you like you are. You’re not my niece or nephew by blood, but you are by choice…and that pretty much means you’re stuck with me forever. You are my chosen sister’s baby and that means you […]

Friendship requires sacrifice. There, I said it. I have met and talked to a lot of lonely people lately, and let me tell you it breaks my heart because I remember those days like I remember the smell of burnt popcorn. That memory is never going away, and when I think about it the ache […]

Dear Son, Today I wish I could go back. I wish I could go back and hold you as an infant. I wish I could smell your skin and rock you just a little longer. I wish I could be still and feel that moment just one more time. When I look at pictures of […]

Dear Kids, I’m sorry I was a jerk. I wish you knew that sometimes when the house is dark and quiet, I come in and watch you breathe for a minute. I wonder there in the stillness if you know how much I love you. I think about the things I could have said differently, […]

Dear Kids, I am with you. I was with you when you were in my belly. I was swollen, heavy, tired, and I felt like a moose, but I was with you. I was with you in the seconds, the minutes, and the hours of labor, when I truly didn’t think I could go on. […]

I am the santa, the elves, and the magic. I am the delicious smells, the stuffed bellies, and the Christmas spirit. I am the twinkle lights, the clean bathrooms, and the mistletoe hanging in the doorway. I am the stories, the advent calendars, and the reminding what Christmas is really about. I am the greeting […]

Dear Mama, You are not a failure. I know you don’t always believe that, but it’s true. We all fail, all of us, but we are not failures. There have been so many moments when I felt done, when I wanted to run outside and scream. So many moments when I knew I said the […]

My ears are tired. Everyone is just always talking, all the time. Do not tell my kids that I said this, but sometimes when they are telling me a story that is never-ending I think about what color I would like to paint the walls and if I should get more throw pillows. I feel […]

Dear Kids, Sometimes I peek in your door and watch you sleeping. I wonder how I could ever get mad or frustrated at you. Your soft face is squished against your pillow and your favorite stuffed animal is buried under your chin. Today I was irritated that you left your notebooks and crayons all over […]

When we got to the beach today children, sand, and food wrappers exploded out of the car as soon as the doors opened, and I laughed to myself. I picked up a rotten tangerine that had rolled under the car and tossed it in the trash. The boys shook the whole vehicle as they wrestled […]

Dear Firstborn, It’s okay to fail, and to fail again and again and again. There’s something special about my bond with you. It isn’t better or more important, it’s just different. You were the beginning of my awakening, the step through the portal that is motherhood. Your becoming was my becoming. The day you were […]

Dear Kids, It’s okay to be mad at me. Sometimes we make decisions for you that you don’t agree with or understand. You feel voiceless and frustrated. Sometimes I overreact and I misunderstand. Sometimes you just have a bad day. It’s okay, I have those days too.