Hey, I know you want to be a good friend.
I know it’s something you think about and weighs heavy on your heart, especially when your friend is going through something hard.
I also know that sometimes you take on too much.
Sometimes you try and carry things that aren’t yours to carry.
Sometimes you do all the work, and it’s not yours to do.
Sometimes without realizing it, you confuse being a good friend with being superhuman (and you’re not).
Being a good friend does mean loving and serving. It does mean being there. It does mean holding hands and walking through tough stuff.
Being a good friend doesn’t mean:
Trying to save someone who really needs more help than you can give them. If you are not a trained therapist or doctor, I’m looking at you.
Working harder (and caring more) about someone’s health and wellbeing than they do.
Never saying “no, I can’t”.
Being the constant giver and never receiving. Friendships are mutual by nature.
Trying to fulfill someone’s expectations that are too high or unreasonable.
Not taking care of yourself and your needs.
I know sometimes boundaries make you feel guilty and mean, but listen, they’re not. Being a good friend is a gift that you give someone, not something you owe anybody.
Photo by gravity