Friends. A story about why I need them.

One crisp and starry evening, I was sitting around the fire with some of my best friends eating Oreos and drinking wine, when a little argument broke out among the newlyweds. It went something like this…

Wifey (with wine in hand), “I hope our kids get my eyes.”

Husband, “Whaaaat? What’s wrong with my eyes?”

Wifey, realizing the error of her ways overcompensated with slightly buzzed enthusiasm, “Nothing, I love your eyes! I just, you know, well, your eyes are hooded and mine are not.”

“What? What the hell are hooded eyes?”

They had officially captured all of our attention by then. This was going to be GREAT.

“Well yes, just, you know they’re hooded, but I love them so much….”

This went on for like two hours. We silently passed around the oreos and wine. None of us were sure what hooded eyes were, but it sounded very sexual.

Finally, flustered and perplexed as to how she might dig herself out of the hooded eye pit that she has created, she flung her hand towards me in a desperate gesture, “JESS. JESS has hooded eyes!”

She seemed to think that this was her mic drop moment.

“What?!” I shrieked in shock. Then I took another bite of cookie. I felt strangely honored and also a little disturbed.

A girl needs her girls, if for nothing else than to keep it real. You just don’t know you have hooded eyes unless someone points that out to you. #wrongmakeuptutorials.

***

This is just one of the many reasons I travel in a pack. I am simply not lone wolf material.

1. Because I have issues.

My friend tells that I’m being defensive, and so I defensively tell her that I AM NOT. She is maybe right. (I am working on that).

2. Because they tell me things other people are scared to tell me.

They say that I’m not allowed to use bath towels as hand towels any more. That is disgusting. They do not want to dry their hands on my naked body anymore.

One friend suggests regularly that I get a subscription to wine glasses since he is tired of drinking out of jars and plastic sippy cups at my house. Notes from friends are very helpful.

3. Because disgusting moments are meant for sharing.

There are some things that are just not Facebook appropriate. When I don’t want to horrify the world with my children’s grossness, I horrify my friends instead. It just feels better to be traumatized together.

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4. Because we learn each others quirks and it is funny.

Like one of my friends tells me “no” about everything when she is tired. I say, the party is on Tuesday, she says, “No, it’s not.” The party IS on Tuesday, she is just too exhausted to agree with me.

5. Because we make each other better.

My friend didn’t drink coffee. So I found highly slanted coffee propaganda and sent it to her until she decided (for her health, and the good of humankind) she should probably start. Now she feels alive as opposed to dead in the morning. I am very happy for her.

6. Because  it’s good to have REALLY different people in my life.

My one friend grocery shops on Craigslist. It’s like the health-food-underground. When I’m with her we have to stop and grab chickens and pears off of people’s back porches. It is very healthy, and a little sketchy. My other friend is highly introverted and prefers being at home alone so she doesn’t have to wear any pants.

I like Costco, and I think being alone is like slowly dying. However, they rub some of their healthy-introvertedness on me, and I sometimes eat kale while reading books in the bath tub. I am better because of them.

7. We help each other accomplish our dreams.

My one friend was obsessed with skinny dipping this summer. If I was sick she would insist that if we skinny dipped it would get better. If I had a bad day, she wanted to skinny dip. Constantly she wanted to skinny dip. Finally we had a girl’s night for the sole purpose of making her dream come true. Except, she decided that it was the one day out of 365 days that naked swimming didn’t work for her. She hid under her blankets, proclaiming she was already asleep. But sisters don’t let sisters let go of their dreams.

And she was right. Skinny dipping fixes everything.

***

Laughing hysterically at myself and also at my friends is one of my best links to sanity.

There’s something better than being perfect…it’s being messy and flawed (with hooded eyes) and still loved exactly like that.

you’re ENOUGH my friend.

For tips on how to find your next besties, check out this article I wrote for Mother.ly What do stat at home moms need? Friends.

Cheers. We are in this together.

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6 thoughts on “Friends. A story about why I need them.

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