Working Mom or SAHM, We are all going to be okay.

I have recently gone back to work part time. This is mostly because I plan on giving my kids a sub-par childhood.

So far everyone is suffering and wearing weird clothes to school, because I’m not there to control their fashion decisions. My kindergartner wore pink leggings and cutoff jean shorts to her school Christmas program. I snuck in a few minutes late from work and scanned the kids on stage. When my eyes fell on Oaklee, I burst out laughing. There she was, surrounded by red and white dresses and tiny bow ties. My husband waited in great anticipation for my reaction. Our eyes met when I slid into the seat next to him. He grinned and nodded proudly. “Yeah I did…” he whispered, giving me a big wink.


He is the worst stay at home mom ever.

I find it kind of attractive.

Watching her sing “Oh Little Town of Bethlehem” dressed like Daisy from the Dukes of Hazard was the therapy I never knew I needed.

And probably it was everybody else’s therapy too, because it is always nice to know that even though you forgot to sign the reading log, someone else thought it was the Fourth of July.

Sometimes we work because we have to. Sometimes we work because we want to. Sometimes we are SAHMs because we have to. Sometimes we are because we want to. There are so many difficult decisions to make as parents and no one carries that burden like we do. We are all forging ahead like blind tour guides hoping we chose the right trail and that no one gets head lice.

When I was a brand new mom a friend who was experienced told me, “Don’t worry so much about the “right” way. Love your kids well and follow your heart. They will all be okay.”

And I was all, “ARE YOU CRAZY?!” Tell me the right way right now before I SCREW EVERYONE UP.

The more I parent though, the more I realize she was right. There is no “exactly perfect” way to do motherhood. There is a million and one ways to do it, and do it well.  My prayer is that my kids grow up confident and compassionate. That they grow up into hard workers, strong leaders, and generous givers. That they grow up knowing that they are loved, and knowing how to love. The other stuff?

It’s just pink leggings and cutoff jean shorts.

I am a working mom right now and we are all going to be okay.

Soon we are taking a trip and I will be a traveling mom, and we are all going to be okay.

I may find myself a stay at home mom again soon, and we are all going to be okay.

That voice that says I’m not enough? That I’m failing, and I’m disappointing my kids? The one that says I shouldn’t be working, or staying at home, or taking a moment to get my nails done? The voice that says every one else is more patient, and perfect, and wonderful, and makes homemade cookies, and has clean kitchens?

That voice is a liar.

Whatever kind of mom you are today. Whether you are a a working mom, a stay at home mom, a together mom, a falling apart mom,  a tired mom, a happy mom, a single mom, if I could, I would take your hand and say, “Carry on Mama, your kids adore you. Especially that one biting your shoulder and screaming. I can tell.”

We need each other.

For more like this you can follow me here on Wonderoak, like my page on Facebook, and follow Wonderoak Blog on Instagram! Photo credit belongs to the hubs @grahamsjohnston.

21 responses to “Working Mom or SAHM, We are all going to be okay.”

  1. Aren’t children priceless :D? Love your blog! Thank you for being so honest.

  2. Great post…good luck

  3. I just love you. 🙂

  4. I found your writing thought-provoking.To put myself into what my mother continues doing for me each and every day. I love my mother so much!Your daughter is and will always be mighty proud of you!Loads of respect.

  5. This was what I needed to read today. After a few good days, a bad day was bound to come up, especially on a Monday. It wasn’t even that anything necessarily bad happened, I just feel less like a person today (a feeling I know many mothers feel). Being home alone with a 2 month old for 10 hours can be draining. But it’s nice to be reminded that it’s all going to be okay and that I’m doing everything just fine. Thank you!

  6. I love this blog! I am a young adult, but I really appreciate all my mom does for me to this day! I respect your passion and your determination to work and to be a wonderful mom to your kids.

  7. This was such a great post! Kids are the best all around and no matter what it’s the truth we are all going to be okay working or not.

  8. I often struggle with if staying home is right or if it would benefit my kids better if they saw me working but like you said, there is no perfect right way. They benefit from me being me! So feeling this post!

  9. I remember having to go back to work… I was horrified that my children’s world come to an end but what I wasn’t aware of is that it was my world I was really concerned about. Well written, and what a great attitude you have – I enjoy reading your blog! Thanks!

  10. Hi! I find this post, like all your posts, so true and so positive. Thank you for reassuring us in the role of our life, the most difficult and the most important: we all try so hard to be good mums to our children … and that malicious voice in our head is our worst enemy. Thank you for giving more power to that other sweet voice that whispers from time to time that we are the way we are and that’s just fine. 😉

  11. Hi, I was introduced to your blog by Damon Gibbons’ mom Patty, whom I met this past July 4th. It’s funny I should read this today though, the second day of Lent and that voice of incompetence never louder and more invasive. I’ve been a SAHM for over two years now and just getting worse at it. I see how living my kids are with people they don’t have to be around 24/7, and the relative disregard they have towards me, their prime caregiver and disciplinarian. It breaks my heart. I’ve always been a sensitive soul and so I don’t see how God expects me to handle this prolonged situation. If I could work I would, but even more true, if I could love my present role and revel in it, I would do that. Just don’t have the answer. -Amaya

  12. *how loving my kids are

  13. Absolutely LOVE this post! Thank You! I didn’t even know I needed this. Love the Daisy Duke! 😉

  14. you make me laugh out loud. i shared this post immediately on our MOMS group website. everyone needs to read this! thank you for the laughs and the “normal.”

  15. I find myself having this conversation with friends all the time – nothing is forever, and everyone’s reason for whatever they are are different. It’s all OK, and we’re all going to be OK! I just shared on my FB blog page, and hope we can connect 🙂

  16. absolutely love reading this!
    SO many times i’ve been asked to give my friends were just became parents some advice that would help them….I’ve always replied that “Trust yourself that you will know what to do, there will be so many advice tossed right at you but all you need is your mother/father instinct…”
    Most of the time my friends would feel like I’m not being helpful but honestly, we all want the best for our child and like you’ve said, we will all be ok.

  17. Yes to all of this! Thank you. Self-criticism and doubt are frequent companions on my journey in mothering. And my son totally bites my shoulder (and screams) so when I read that last part I actually felt your support! Thank you.

  18. I too have decided to return to work after being a SAHM, and I’m SO nervous because I’m such a control freak. Hopefully I can adjust to trusting others. You’re doing an awesome job mama! We all have phases in life like this!

  19. *makes me

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