Happy Mother’s Day to my Mama Friends

Sometimes on Mother’s Day I find myself reflecting on how I’m doing as a Mom, and today, these are my thoughts…

We are never going to be perfect. Sometimes we are going to be messy, and human, and moody.

Sometimes we are going to feel real shitty at this. That’s normal I think.

Sometimes we are going to lose our cool. Like when I held the tablet out the car window and threatened to let it break into one million pieces if EVERYONE DIDN’T LISTEN UP RIGHT NOW. I scared them so badly that then I spent 45 minutes comforting them.

I’m going to call this bonding.

Somedays we might not want anyone to touch us. We won’t want them to tap our face, or jump on our back, or caress our cheek tenderly. We won’t want to share our skin AT ALL on that day, and then we might wonder if Dog the Bounty Hunter is more maternal than us.

Sometimes there’s going to be a thing “that good moms do” that we don’t want to do. Like crafts for example. Mostly I would rather light my own hair on fire than do a craft.

Sometimes we will want to escape from them. We will want to go somewhere without questions or sticky hands or crumbs. We will want to run and run and run and hopefully end up somewhere that has wine and back massages. If not, then Target will also work.

Sometimes we are going to feel more tired than loving. Like when my kids touch literally everything in a public restroom and I wonder if it is kosher to use hand sanitizer on their entire body.

Sometimes we will spend a whole day just saying, “I just said DON’T do that!”

The thing is…

Sometimes we are just going to show up without any warm feelings, or nice thoughts, and it will still be love.

It will be an incredibly strong and resilient kind of love. It will be a mom kind of love.

Sometimes we are going to clean a disgusting toilet while also having an identity crisis (WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH MY LIFE) and it will be love.

Sometimes we are going to tell them “no” and they will not act loved. They will act very very mad and neglected, but it will still be love.

Sometimes we are going to cry in our pillow at night wondering if we are doing a good enough job…and it will be love.

Our love is often unseen and unsung, but it is real and true and beautiful.

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I don’t care what your day was like today. I don’t care if you lost your temper or you never put on a bra or if you didn’t get out of bed…you are doing a great job. I SEE YOU. I see you putting bandaids on invisible owies and I see you microwaving quesadillas when you are long past running out of steam. I SEE YOU. I see you singing one last bedtime song when all you want to do is eat an entire Toblerone alone in the bath. I SEE YOU.

I also see that sometimes you don’t sing that last song. That’s OKAY too.

I hope you feel proud of the mom that you are. Not the mom you might be one day, not the one you wish you were, but the mom that you are.

Our kids are not comparing us to a supermom they saw on Facebook or Pinterest. They aren’t wishing we were someone else. They aren’t hoping that one day we will get it together and be more organized, and they aren’t embarrassed that we haven’t done laundry in three weeks.

No one is harder on us than us.

No one has an impossible standard for us…except for us.

Let’s stop wishing we were someone else. Let’s stop wishing for different strengths and gifts and be the moms that we already are. Crafts aren’t my jam. So be it.

Let’s give ourselves a giant break.

As long as we keep them off of Pinterest Birthday Party boards I think everyone is going to be just fine.

To my fellow warriors in the trenches I honor you today.

Today celebrate all your successes and all your wins.

Happy Freaking Mother’s Day. Now, let’s go pretend we like burnt toast and average flowers.

I SEE YOU.

XOXO

Jess

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8 thoughts on “Happy Mother’s Day to my Mama Friends

  1. Ellie

    You truly said it all. You really get it. I do all this from the chocolate and bath thing to the cry in the pillow thing. Thanks for these kind words. You are right. Sometimes love is enough.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Amy Schisler

    I’ve been at this mothering thing for over 21 years. My oldest graduated from college today, and she and I got into a shouting match on the front lawn outside of the arena where the ceremony was held because I wanted to take a family picture while she wanted to say goodbye to every. single. professor. she’d had in the past. four. years. Being a mom is hard. Every day. And worth it. Every day.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Natalie

    Your blogs are a blessing!! You say What goes through my head!…thank you for helping so many of us feel moments of “normal “.. Ps, I don’t like playing Barbies & trying to make the grandmas Mother’s Day crafty gifts was ridonkulous!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Jenn

    Ugh…..I don’t think I can love you any more. LOL You always seem to hit the nail on the head. I thought adulting was hard, but parenting is so much harder. And you’re right….we are harder on ourselves. I really didn’t think I was a helicopter parent either….until I read this. So thanks for that! haha It’s really good to hear other people talk about these things though because it really does help me feel more normal. I have one that is getting ready to head off to college, the same one I work at, and it will take everything I have not to do things for him (cause you know I can do it faster, more efficient, and in a timely manner) 🙂 I know they can do things, but a part of me doesn’t want to let them cause that means they will need me a little less. I suppose when I start letting go, they will start having children of their own, and then I can start the process all over with my grandchildren. Sounds like a solid plan to me. haha

    Liked by 1 person

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