Sometimes between babies, and school drop off, and long nights followed by longer days…we lose ourselves. We lose ourselves in the beautiful messy process that is motherhood. We are willing to let ourselves go (mostly). We’re willing to stumble around in sweat pants, sipping luke warm coffee while we pick toys up off the floor. We are willing to give up half (85%) of our blankets for a middle of the night intruder. WE ARE WILLING because never have we ever loved like this, but sometimes, we miss ourselves, and that’s okay too.
It’s okay to look in the mirror and wonder what happened to the woman you knew.
It’s okay to miss her and to want her back.
I’ve been there.
You are never too far gone, you are never past re-discovering. You are still in there beneath the sacrifice and the routine and the week old yoga pants…you are still YOU.
To find yourself again, you need to make time to breath.
It isn’t selfish to take care of yourself.
It isn’t selfish to take a long bath while your kids watch a movie.
It isn’t selfish to buy the latte. (I have found myself in many a latte).
It isn’t selfish to want to remember who you were without kids…
…and it isn’t selfish to give yourself permission to FIND HER.
I lost myself too, and I found myself again.
I am different…but I am still me.
It turns out I still like to get down and shake it to good music and stay up late with vodka red bull (yeah I just said that). I still like to be totally stupid and laugh at immature sex jokes until I maybe pee my pants a little.
But now long strolls in Target are ALSO my jam. I get insanely happy when I purchase clorox cleanup wipes. I like a night out, by I also LOVE a night with my littles eating dinner on the living room floor and watching Coco.
I cry at olympic commercials.
I worry about things like homework and bullying and if that meat is still okay at the bottom of the fridge.
I’ve found myself again and I’m different, but I like me.
It’s not selfish to do things for no other reason than because you WANT TO. Go to the movies alone, take yourself out to a pedicure, sign up for a half marathon. Do the thing you need to do to find yourself. Take a girls trip, take a class, travel somewhere, go to a concert, challenge yourself somehow. Do something that scares you. If you don’t have time for anything else, turn up that hip hop to max volume down the freeway. Your kids will not die from a few swear words.
It’s OKAY, it’s IMPORTANT.
Listen my friend, and listen good: YOU MATTER.
We are different now that we are mothers, but that little girl, the one that likes to let loose on the trampoline and scream at the top of her lungs…she’s still in there too.
Let’s go get her.