7 Ways to Survive Motherhood

I’m just a girl in sweat pants with a period stain and a luke warm cup of coffee. The only thing I am an expert on is spot cleaning yoga pants, dry shampoo, and keepin’ it real. I know you’re probably wondering what I did to win at life like this and I have to break it to you; IT HAS NOT BEEN EASY. You cannot just get these dark circles under your eyes all easy peasy. This has taken a lot of hard work, determination, and unprotected sex.

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Sometimes I legit wonder how it is that I’m in charge around here.

Though I don’t know much, here are six survival tips for motherhood:

Laugh as much as possible.

The only thing that makes the most disgusting, horrifying, exhausting parenting moments funny is a glass of wine, a basket of garlic fries, and some friends who have a sense of humor. Suddenly tantrums, bodily fluids, and marital spats are enough to make you cry laughing…instead of crying real tears alone on your bedroom floor (I have done both).

Shut the door.

I am not even sure what is happening in my kids’ rooms right now. There is stuff and trash and toys and food and a chameleon jammed into one stinky, stress-inducing space. THEY ARE HOARDERS AND THEY NEED HELP.  I noticed that it was really messing with my mojo, so I did something revolutionary: I shut the door.

Now my coffee tastes better and all is right with the world.

You cannot do it all; sometimes you have to TAKE A DEEP BREATH… and shut a door or two or three.

Take time for you.

One of my friends said being a mom is like Groundhog Day (the movie with Bill Murray where he gets stuck repeating the same day over and over). It is so true. A lot of the time motherhood is life on repeat, and IT NEVER ENDS. Feed, wash, cry (kids), cry (me), sweep, feed again, bed, repeat. Listen, the bottom of the laundry basket is a pipe dream. We have to take time for ourselves when there isn’t actually any time. A night out with the girls is therapy for me; a run is sanity, and a trip alone to Target is vacation.

Don’t compare. 

There have never been kids just like yours, and there never has been a mom just like you. You do you because you are the perfect one for this job. Your kids need YOU, not someone else (no matter how perfect that person might seem).  I have friends with ALL kinds of strengths that I admire, but I’m never going to be like them…that’s okay. My little fam rocks this hot mess proudly. You can’t have strengths without also having weaknesses. WE ALL HAVE BOTH. You do you.

Coffee

Coffee is my secret (not-at-all-secret) weapon. I was particularly grumpy the other morning and my eleven-year-old asked if he could get me a cup.  I’m a die hard fan of strong coffee in the morning and a glass of wine at night. Even if you’re not into either of those things, it’s good to have something to look forward to start (or end) your day, cuz…mornings and evenings are hard.

Own it.

Own the mess because it’s beautiful in its own way. Some of my favorite family photos are the ones where one of my kids is sobbing in the corner. I’m learning (slowly, but surely) that the best times are often full of dirt and chaos.

Forgive yourself. 

You are going to make mistakes. If you feel like a failure, forgive yourself. If you aren’t the mom or wife you thought you’d be, forgive yourself (is anyone the mom or wife they thought they’d be???). If your house looks like it was ransacked by thugs, let yourself off the hook because children are basically thugs. If you lose your cool, take a deep breath and think of me and the millions of others who have been there…you are not alone.

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So anyway, I just said yes to three popsicles for each of my kids and now they are acting like a bunch of psychos. So, if you’re looking for parenting expertise, you’ve come to the wrong place…BUT if you’re looking for a safe place to be you in all your glory and your mess…WELCOME. We are in this together.

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18 thoughts on “7 Ways to Survive Motherhood

  1. Alisha

    Thank you for this. Needed it. today I gave up. I gave in. I didn’t give a f*ck! So tired. Tomorrow is a new day;)

  2. shalysejs

    That was so cool. I really enjoyed that. I have two kids that came to live with us about 8 months ago and its been really hard with the adjustment. I struggle with anxiety and depression so to be expected to be something, even just expecting it of myself, has been really tough. Its nice to A) know I’m not alone. and B) get some real advice. The shut the door to the room thing is GOLD. I have two boys. they’re so damn messy lol

  3. Moose Poop Acres

    I think I will take your “close the door” advice. Brilliant. And I’m with you on the strong coffee / wine bookends to the day. It’s the only way to get through. 🙌🏼 Solidarity, fellow mamas!

  4. Sandra

    I liked the foto! I think I´m going to stop posing and have real foto´s from now on, that show the real us. No more pictures with us all smiling at the same time, just for the foto. No: let him be tired, her crying, him cross and me looking exshausted. I love your blog. I´m really glad if I can hear that the washing machine decided to actually centrifuge the laudry for once, instead of me having to take it out soaking wet and wring it out myself…Tea is my life line, and the last bag is D-Day: must have tea for later!!! Sometimes I don´t know where I get the strength to keep going, but somehow we all kinda do, so like groundhog day (one of my favourites, together with “as good as it gets” and “leaving normal”). I´m proud of you guys too, taking care of others takes sacrifice. But we are doing it anyway. x

  5. Kristy Moore

    Amen sister! Laughing can be the best medicine and comparing takes you down, so don’t do it!

  6. Joyce

    Wow, just wow and thanks! Being a freshly single parent of 5 kids 8 and under I feel like a failure every day. Today is a new day.

  7. stomperdad

    You speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Except for the coffee part (I drink tea) this is me. Oh and I probably don’t cry as much. My kids sure do though.sometkmes I close the door on that too (depending on why they’re crying).

  8. Batmom

    Love this post. I needed to read this today. There are a lot of times I feel like a failure as a mom, especially lately. But this post makes me feel better, I’m not the only mom who doesn’t have her sh*t together, and the grass isn’t always greener in the other moms yard. You let me see what I often fail to see, sometimes the mom life is a mess, and that is okay. Thank you.

  9. Pingback: 7 Ways to Survive Motherhood — WONDEROAK – SHOWERS OF BLESSINGS COVENANT HOUSE

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