Dear Kids, I’ve been annoyed at you lately…

Dear kids,

I’ve been annoyed at you lately.

I haven’t wanted you to see it, but I’m sure that you have.

I was annoyed when you had a melt down in a public place. Pull it together, I thought, why can’t we be past this awful stage??

I was annoyed at your bickering and your roughhousing and your kid-ness.

I was annoyed that the sixth glass broke this week.

I was annoyed that you asked for ANOTHER snack and that you sprinkled your toys like confetti all over the living room.

I was annoyed at the dirt and the noise and the chaos.

I was annoyed that I had to repeat myself over and over, and that you said my name ten times before I could answer.

…I’m so sorry I’ve been so annoyed. The problem has been with me, not with you.

The other day I heard someone speak. They said to figure out a gift you can give for the sake of love. The kind of gift that costs you everything. The kind of gift that is lavish and extravagant. I thought for a minute about what my gift might be, and then I thought of you.

I thought of you…and it changed everything.

What can I give you?

I can give you every minute (or hour) I’m late because you needed to tie your own shoes.

I can give you every ounce of embarrassment I feel when you have a tantrum in public. I  can light my pride on fire for your sake, my love.

I can give you my patience when you need to be reminded of the same thing a hundred times in a day.

I can give you my deep breathes when the noise levels are out of control.

I can give twenty extra minutes sitting with you at the dinner table because you don’t want to eat three more bites.

I can give that, it is my joy to give you that.

I can be with you in your kid-ness, because these days are precious and numbered.

Kids, I forgot I was doing all this because of love.

I forgot that, and I’m so so sorry.

I love you with my whole heart and you are worth every inconvenience a thousand times again.

Love,

Mama

***

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10 thoughts on “Dear Kids, I’ve been annoyed at you lately…

  1. Jane Chapman

    Buy plastic glasses! Give yourself a break! Wonderful post I wish I had these to read when my kids were small but I can certainly apply all the lessons to grandchildren! Thanks for writing this blog. It’s amaz I have shared it with many! Jane

  2. Shardai

    I feel that exact way. I have three boys. I want a 4th and my husband will say it’s chaos and you want to add more to the fire.. some days it feels unmanageable however this blog makes me realize. I’m blessed even if a bad day feels like that it and I need to scream at the top of my lungs. I have to self reflect and remind myself that these are the moments to cherish. Thanks.

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