WONDEROAK

Dear Kids,

My heart is yours. You can’t earn it and you don’t ever need to deserve it. I’ve already given it, and I never want it back.

You can push me away, you can roll your eyes, you can slam the door when you walk into your room. I will always be here, right here; I’m not going anywhere.

There are days when we don’t see eye to eye. Everything I say drives you crazy, and every thing you do makes me want to scream. But even on our very worst days, I am here, and I will always be here. There are no words you can say and no ways you can unravel that will push me away from you.

I gave you my heart with no strings attached the first day I held a test shaking in my hand. The future was blank and scary, but one thing was sure; I loved you.

I gave you my heart the day I felt you flutter in my stomach. The only thing you gave back was a a bad case of nausea and an insatiable need for sweet potato fries. You didn’t earn my heart, and you never have to. It is my gift, and it’s the best gift I’ve ever given.

I gave you my heart the first time I held you earthside. You gave me raw bleeding nipples and long sleepless nights. When I sang you screamed, when I closed my eyes you grunted. You didn’t do anything to earn it, and you don’t need to earn it now.

I gave you my heart when you were a toddler. Your chubby cheeks and your sweet voice were everything. You gave back warm squishy hugs and broken I love you’s. You also gave me heart attacks and trips to the ER in the middle of the night. You gave tantrums on the grocery store floor and battles of wills that lasted for hours. It doesn’t matter; It doesn’t ever matter. I am here forever and amen.

Love’s crazy like that, and I’m crazy in love with you.

I gave you my heart when you were a big kid. When you vacillated between cute and grown up in a matter of seconds. I gave you my heart as you officially became a “preteen” and you suddenly knew everything there is to know about everything.

You might not think you need me now, but I’m here anyway.

I am with you now and I will be with you forever, at every stage and on every path. For now I’m a bedroom away, someday I’ll be a phone call away, but HERE I will stay.

I’m yours for keeps.

You can be “successful” as our culture sees it. You can be popular, you can be wealthy, you can get good grades, go to a good school, and get a good job…or not. I’m here, right here, no matter what. You can get married and have kids…or not. You can make good decisions or terrible ones (I’ve made some of those too). I doesn’t matter, I am here. I always will be, and I will never ever (ever, ever) give up on you.

If you fail at something big and you want to curl up and hide, I will hide with you. We will eat takeout Chinese and watch movies and commiserate that sometimes we fail…but it’s okay. It’s all going to be okay. I will never give up on you, even when you want to give up on yourself.

Yes, I get tired and grumpy, and sometimes I am undone; so undone. Sometimes it takes me a bit to pull myself back together, but there’s one thing I’m sure of and that thing is you. I’m sure of you forever.

Even if we fight and we don’t see eye to eye. Even when I don’t listen to you when I should and I say all the wrong things, I am yours. I’m not very perfect at this parenting thing, but I am ALL IN, with nothing held back. I’m leaving everything I have on this field. Not because you earned it, but because you are worth it. You are worth every ounce of everything that I possess.

Believe that.

You can fail. You can fall apart. You have my permission to live your life the best way you know how, and when you look beside you, you will find me. Cheering you on every single step of the way. I am your greatest fan.

You see my love isn’t dependent on you. You don’t have to earn it, you don’t have to cherish it, you don’t have to deserve it. It’s yours to keep for this world and the next.

Forever and ever my love, I’m yours.

Love,

Mama

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Feature photo and last photo by Elizabeth Lucht Photography. You can follow her and her cute fam on Facebook and Insta.

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