Dear Mamas, You know best…

Each of our kids have gone through rough seasons. Ones that made us question everything about ourselves and our parenting. There was the Pterodactyl scream, the hitting and biting, the not wanting to eat any food except butter and chocolate, and the tantrums that were (are) like having our very own fire breathing dragon.

We are still riding some of those waves, and I know we will hit other waves in the future.

We’ve gotten lots of well-intentioned advice along the way. Some of it was helpful, some of it was not. I believe in the “village” and I’m grateful we aren’t on our own when it comes to parenthood, however, I’ve learned that it shouldn’t come at the cost of my self confidence.

There are a million opinions (online and otherwise) about how we could do motherhood differently, but we are still the gate keepers of that advice.

We are still the last word, and we should be, because we are the ones whose heart and soul is the most invested.

Who loves them the most? Who laid down their right to a full night sleep and an independent life? Who sacrificed their body and their dreams and their regular showers? Who takes care of them when they’re sick? Who stays awake at night thinking about them and worrying for them?

You do and you did. I do and I did.

We are the most qualified, and we always will be.

You are the best one to decide what school they go to.

You are the best one to decide what they eat and what they watch.

You are the best one to decide what boundaries and rules you have as a family.

You are the best one to decide if you do sleepovers or not and if they have phones or not.

No one knows your kids like you do. No sees all their sides and all their colors like you do. No one loves them like you do. No one has held them the way you’ve held them. No one has seen the world in their bright, round, eyes.

So get advice, but don’t let it dethrone you from your roles as Mom and Dad. There’s no one whose voice is more important than yours.

No one is as qualified to lead as the one who loves with their whole heart.

Trust yourself and trust your gut.

***

 

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4 thoughts on “Dear Mamas, You know best…

  1. Stephanie Riley

    I think I’m gonna save this and give it in every card I give to any young mama’s baby shower I’m invited to. Love this!

  2. ennajean

    I learnt this the hard way. So much unnecessary added stress in the newborn stage because of trying to follow everyone’s advice. Looking back it was a tad insane to think that was possible or logical, but I’m slowly learning to accept the past, knowing I only ever wanted the best for my boy. I am that much stronger now because of it… more confident in figuring out what’s best for him and putting every bit of advice through a filter. I am so encouraged by your writing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  3. sharon

    Such encouragement and God-given wisdom. Thank you sweet mom. You put your whole heart into it, don’t you. : )

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