This Friendship Didn’t Happen by Accident

If you see me and a friend out in public having a good time, please know this friendship didn’t happen by accident. 

I know it looks simple. I know it looks comfortable. I know it looks easy. 

And it is all those things, but only because we’ve done the work. Only because we’ve fought for this thing, we’ve shown up for this thing, we’ve valued this thing. 

Please don’t look at this friendship and think it happened by magic. Please don’t think we’re just lucky or special. (Although maybe there was a little of that).

This friendship happened with love and intentionality.

It happened by countless hours of sharing our hearts (and deep gut laughs). 

It happened by choosing each other over and over again. 

It happened by listening and really HEARING each other.

It happened by having honest conversations when it was needed (instead of letting splinters of hurt/miscommunication grow deep and fester).

It happened by making time for each other (even when we were busy and overwhelmed).

It happened by being humble (and apologizing) when we got it wrong.

It happened by giving the benefit of the doubt and having each other’s backs. 

It happened by loving each other well (and our kids, spouses, parents and siblings, because we also chose each other’s family). 

It happened by buying each other random cards and gifts just to show we care. 

It happened by sending a million different texts.

It happened by years of creating history and shared stories (and inside jokes that still make us double over with laughter). 

It happened by being flexible.

I happened by seeing each other at our best and seeing each other at our worst, and loving each other still.

It happened by inviting and pursuing (even when the sink was full of dishes and crumbs were on the floor).

It happened by celebrating and cheering for each other with our whole hearts. 

It happened by learning how to communicate well (and what we each needed to hear when we were having a hard time).

It happened by showing up for each other in the very hardest moments of our lives and sitting in that pain, because there’s nowhere we’d rather be. 

I know it’s easy to see a friendship from the outside looking in and think it’s easy, or simple, or just fell into our lap. 

But it didn’t. 

This friendship was built on choices.

A million different times of choosing each other.

What you’re seeing is the fruit, but let me tell you there is a story behind this magic. 

And if I can have it, you can have it too.



Photo by Yanapi Senaud

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